Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:07] Welcome back to another episode of Just say Something podcast. I'm Philip Clark, the CEO of Just say Something in Composite Carolina in Greenville, South Carolina.
[00:00:19] Each week we talk about the real issues impacting kids, teens and families, and the small, everyday moments that can make a lasting difference.
[00:00:34] Whether you're a parent educator, community leader, or someone who simply cares about the well being of young people, this podcast is here to inform, encourage, and remind you that prevention doesn't start in a crisis.
[00:00:53] It starts with awareness, connection, and showing up early.
[00:01:00] Thank you for being here.
[00:01:02] We tend to think prevention happens in one big moment. One serious talk, one morning, one lecture where we finally say all the right things.
[00:01:15] We tell ourselves things like I'll talk to them when they're older or I just need to find the right time or I know when it's serious enough to bring it up.
[00:01:30] But here's the truth.
[00:01:32] Prevention doesn't happen in one big conversation.
[00:01:36] It happens in a thousand small moments that most of us don't even realize matter.
[00:01:43] And those small moments are shaping our kids long before we ever get around to the talk.
[00:01:52] We've created this idea that if we just say the right words at the right time, we've done our job.
[00:02:00] But one conversation can't undo years of silence.
[00:02:07] It can't undo mixed messages.
[00:02:10] And it can't undo the lessons kids learn by watching how we react every single day.
[00:02:18] In fact, when prevention only shows up during moments of fear or crisis, kids learn something important and not in a good way.
[00:02:30] They learn that certain topics are dangerous.
[00:02:35] They learn that honesty comes with consequences.
[00:02:40] They learn that bringing things up might lead to panic, punishment, or disappointment.
[00:02:48] And once that lesson is learned, kids stop talking.
[00:02:54] Rural prevention doesn't start with lectures.
[00:02:57] It starts with how we respond when a child tells us something uncomfortable.
[00:03:03] It starts with whether curiosity is met with calm or with panic.
[00:03:11] With whether mistakes are treated as learning moments or more failures.
[00:03:18] With whether questions are welcomed or shut down.
[00:03:23] Every reaction sends a message.
[00:03:28] Sometimes the message is I'm glad you told me.
[00:03:32] And sometimes, without meaning to, the message is, I wish you hadn't think about it.
[00:03:39] A child admits they broke a rule.
[00:03:42] A teenager asks about something they saw online.
[00:03:47] A student hints that something doesn't feel right.
[00:03:52] Those moments are quiet, they're easy to miss, and they're easy to mishandle.
[00:04:02] But there are also moments when trust is either built or broken.
[00:04:07] And trust isn't built in speeches. It's built in responses.
[00:04:14] We often say we want kids to come to us when something serious happens, but kids don't suddenly decide to trust us in a crisis.
[00:04:25] They decide based on what happened the last time they they told the truth.
[00:04:31] And the time before that and the time before that if honesty had been punishment, minimized or ignored.
[00:04:40] Kids learn to keep things to themselves, not because they don't care, but because they're protecting themselves.
[00:04:48] One of the biggest misunderstandings about prevention is that it's about being perfect.
[00:04:55] It's not.
[00:04:56] Prevention is about being consistent.
[00:05:00] Kids don't need adults who always have the right answers.
[00:05:03] They need adults who are emotionally safe, adults who can pause before reacting, adults who listen more than they lecture, adults who don't shut down conversations just because they're uncomfortable.
[00:05:22] Because kids are always watching.
[00:05:26] They're watching how we talk about mental health.
[00:05:29] They're watching how we joke about serious things.
[00:05:33] They're watching what we excuse and what we challenge.
[00:05:38] Even when we don't say anything, we're teaching something.
[00:05:43] Silence doesn't keep kids safe.
[00:05:48] Silence just leaves them alone with their questions.
[00:05:52] And when kids can't talk to trusted adults, they'll talk to someone else, or they won't talk at all.
[00:06:00] Neither option protects them.
[00:06:04] Another hard truth is this.
[00:06:07] Risk doesn't usually start with a dramatic decision.
[00:06:11] It starts small, with curiosity, with stress, with a desire to fit in, with feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or unseen.
[00:06:26] There are signs. There are moments.
[00:06:29] There are opportunities to intervene early, but only if we're paying attention.
[00:06:37] That's why small moments matter so much more than the big warnings.
[00:06:42] Because prevention isn't about control.
[00:06:45] It's about connection.
[00:06:48] It's about creating a relationship where kids believe they can tell the truth without being shamed.
[00:06:55] Where they believed or where they believe asking questions won't get them in trouble, where they believe mistakes won't define them.
[00:07:06] That kind of trust doesn't happen by accident.
[00:07:10] It's built slowly, one response at a time.
[00:07:15] If you're listening to this and thinking, I don't always get it right, that's okay, none of us do.
[00:07:23] Prevention doesn't require perfection.
[00:07:27] It requires presence.
[00:07:30] It requires being willing to listen, being willing to learn, being willing to say, I'm glad you told me, even when it's hard.
[00:07:44] So instead of asking, how do I stop this?
[00:07:48] Try asking, what is my child trying to tell me?
[00:07:53] Instead of waiting for the perfect words, focus on being available.
[00:08:00] Instead of thinking they'll understand when they're older, remember that they're learning right now.
[00:08:08] Every day, every conversation, every reaction.
[00:08:14] If you're waiting for the perfect moment to talk to your child, your student, or someone you care about, here's the truth.
[00:08:24] That moment's already passed, and it also is happening right now.
[00:08:31] Prevention lives in everyday conversations, everyday reactions, everyday trust.
[00:08:39] It's not one talk.
[00:08:42] It's a thousand small moments.
[00:08:44] And every one of them matters.
[00:08:48] Thank you for listening to Just say Something podcast.
[00:08:53] This work isn't about fear.
[00:08:55] It's about awareness, connection, and showing up before there's a crisis.
[00:09:02] And it starts by saying something early, often, and with care.
[00:09:12] Thanks again for listening, and be sure to like, share and subscribe and we will see you next time.
