Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Hello there and welcome back to another weekly episode of Just say Something's podcast. Remember to like, share, comment, and subscribe and you can find us anywhere you find your local or your favorite podcast. Hopefully we're one of those.
So if you're looking at the camera, you see two gentlemen in front of you and, and I'm, I'm just going to say it's Nick and Tyler and it's probably going to end up being the Nick and Tyler show. And I'm just going to be the referee, although I don't have a complete striped shirt or a whistle, but.
So I want both of you to take just a second to introduce yourselves.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: I would prefer the Face of Hope.
[00:00:55] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. That's right.
My bad, my bad. So Tyler may look familiar. Well, Nick too, because they were on the Chronicle series A State of addiction that Channel 4 did with us or for us back in March.
And so Tyler received the title of Face of Hope.
And so Tyler and our Face of Hope and Nick, introduce yourselves and then as part of that, tell us just a little bit about your background and then we'll get further into it.
[00:01:35] Speaker C: Go ahead.
[00:01:35] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: Well, my name is Tyler. Like you said, the Face of Hope.
I am nine years, will be nine years sober in August.
Yeah.
August 26th.
I'm the CEO of a local manufacturing company.
I got two kids.
[00:01:55] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:01:55] Speaker B: Beautiful wife.
[00:01:56] Speaker A: Yep, you do, I guess.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: You know.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: You know. Yeah.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: Let's see. Like I said, I got sober from Adderall in 2016 and.
Yeah, that's okay. It's pretty much it for me.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: Okay. All right, Nick, your turn.
[00:02:13] Speaker C: I might go a little longer.
[00:02:16] Speaker B: I try to be as to the point as I can.
[00:02:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:02:18] Speaker A: So we have a timer.
[00:02:19] Speaker C: I, I grew up in Florida, lived in Atlanta twice since we're talking about recovery. I'm in recovery as well.
In 2009 in Atlanta, I got, I went to treatment and got sober and worked for.
I was in the food industry for 30 years and went to a sober living after treatment and did that for six months. There's a lot in a lot, a lot more that goes with that.
But they, I ended up volunteering at this sober live, very structured sober living and did six months there and volunteered thereafter in early 2010.
Work there part time. They asked me to come on and work part time. So I did that, that job as well as my full time food industry job. And eventually in late 10, they asked me to come full time and that journey started there. I know we're going to talk a Little bit about that. And I am married to a lady that I've known since third grade that you know very well.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: Yes, Ms. Audrey.
[00:03:27] Speaker C: And it's kind of like Tyler, so I'm sure we're going to get into some of that. So I've been in Greenville since 18.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: And Nick is also a member of our board of directors and newly elected just a couple of months ago, so. All right, guys, so as we look at your journey, a couple of questions I want to ask you, especially for the parents that are listening out there.
What age was your initial use, and what was it?
[00:03:59] Speaker B: Let's see. My initial use, I was 11, and it was alcohol.
My dad bought me my first drink. Oh, yeah, I know, right? On a cruise. It was a pina colada. And, yeah, I've been drinking since I was 11.
Started using Adderall in my 20s, 28, 29. So I started a little late with that. But before that, you know, smoked weed, did drink, did, you know, stuff like that. So I started early. I started early. Okay, so.
[00:04:28] Speaker D: All right.
[00:04:28] Speaker A: Okay, Nick, what age and what was it technically?
[00:04:36] Speaker C: Sips from my dad's beer at an early age.
[00:04:39] Speaker D: How early?
[00:04:41] Speaker C: Six, seven. Just little sips. Just little. I never saw my dad drunk. Okay, but. But just, you know, as a kid, just in sixth grade.
This is another. It's a long story. I was on a baseball trip, and the coach was a young coach, but that was back in the 70s. And so we went on a baseball trip, and it was the coach and three of my three guys on the team. I'm still friends with them.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: We.
[00:05:11] Speaker C: We ended up getting a bunch of beer. I probably had two or three on that trip. But the power of it, there was something about it. And something happened that I got away with, with. With a baseball bag full of beer. And it started the obsession.
There's an obsession piece that you may understand it. I know for sure. He. He understands it. That started the obsession. So I started. I didn't drink in sixth grade regularly or seventh grade, but eighth grade is when it really started. It was weekly. I went to school, played sports, did gum, but on the weekends, staying at houses. And it was. It was somewhat regular then. And. And then all through high school weekends. And I thought everybody was doing it right.
[00:06:00] Speaker D: Really Right.
[00:06:01] Speaker C: So that's. So eighth grade really, is when it really took off.
[00:06:05] Speaker D: All right, all right.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: So as you look back with both of you being in recovery and congratulations for that, what made that switch or what happened to make you go into.
To say, all right, I'm going to go into recovery and knowing if you. When you go in. I know for some people, recovery means different things for different people.
So your treatment, I guess I'm asking, did you have to go more than once?
But what precipitated that initial. I need to go get help.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: So my wife told me I could either go to treatment or I could get out of the house. And she didn't care which one it was.
[00:06:55] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:06:56] Speaker B: So, yeah, she told me. She said, hey, you can either go to treatment, you can move out. And I don't particularly care which one you choose. And so I didn't really want to get better at the time. But then once I went to rehab, I decided, you know what? This is my chance to get away from this thing that has consumed my life. Like you said, it's an obsession. It's a relationship. It's a.
It's hard to explain. You love. You love it. Like, I love that at all. And it was like I was gonna have to break up with it, and I figured this is my one shot to get out of it. So I took that shot.
And I only went once. Went once, 30 days. And after that, I came home, went to IOP, which is intensive out outpatient, so for about a year, year and a half, and still go to therapy. It was in therapy this morning, actually. And so, yeah, that was sort of my journey, but I didn't want to get better. I had to be pushed.
So it wasn't like a.
You know. But once I went and I decided I was gonna get better, I took. Took the reins. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna do this. If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it all the way.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: So. Well. And Laura gave you the ultimatum.
[00:08:06] Speaker B: That was literally what she told me. You either go to treatment or you're getting out. I don't care either way. Either way, it's up to you. So.
[00:08:14] Speaker A: All right, Nick.
[00:08:16] Speaker C: And I'll just say this.
A lot of times, even though his wife said that it doesn't. That doesn't necessarily. That's. I commend you for that, because that. That. That's not really.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: You don't know his wife.
[00:08:31] Speaker B: Yeah, she. She. 100 I was either going to rehab or I was going to be living on the street. My wife don't play like that. So I knew.
[00:08:41] Speaker C: 100 you did, but you know what I'm saying.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: I know exactly.
[00:08:44] Speaker C: There's many people that. That have consequences, as bad as that is, because.
[00:08:50] Speaker D: Right.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: Had kids. Yeah.
[00:08:51] Speaker D: Right.
[00:08:52] Speaker C: That and even More so that.
That. Don't do it.
[00:08:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:56] Speaker D: Right.
[00:08:57] Speaker C: So that. That. That. That's. That's. That was really big and good of him to. To take that and take heed to what she said. So.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: And actually, my wife was. She was preg.
So she definitely wasn't playing around.
[00:09:09] Speaker D: Right, right.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: She. She meant every word of it. So.
[00:09:14] Speaker A: And so, Nick, what. What was that motivation factor for you?
[00:09:19] Speaker C: Mine was.
There was a few things. One, I was a little older at the time, and I literally.
I was losing it, like, in my mind. I had moments of clarity, and I. I would. There was a few times, not many, but there was a few.
[00:09:41] Speaker B: There was one. There was one you told me about.
[00:09:45] Speaker C: There were a few where I thought, I'm losing. Like, I'm gonna lose my mind. And because I started using in the morning, I wasn't a. I wasn't a daily user. I was a binger.
I mean, I would plan it because I had job. Kept my job. And so I could go four days on and two days off, three days on. I could. I just worked it out that way. And. But when I went, it was full steam, but I. I really was starting to lose it and mentally.
And the physical piece, because I started doing it more daily, it started becoming a daily thing. And then I went through. I was separated. I was. I was married at that time, and I was separated, and it was just chaotic.
[00:10:27] Speaker B: But.
[00:10:29] Speaker C: That was the main.
It was. I really thought I was just really losing my mind, and that really. That really did it for me. That was the main thing. There's other things, but that was a big one.
[00:10:40] Speaker A: Okay. And so both of you, your journeys have been different, your length of time and sobriety has been different.
What's that one or two thing that, during this journey of recovery, have you learned, I guess, about yourself that you didn't realize before that.
Yeah, go ahead.
[00:11:06] Speaker B: So I realized. So I was an Adderall addict, right? So I took Adderall to work. I was one. I was a terrible addict. I didn't do it for fun, necessarily.
And I had developed this imposter syndrome. When you're on Adderall, you know, it's like, I have to have this to be smart. This is what's making me. And one thing I learned, I. I was. I didn't need it. Like, I'm perfectly smart. I'm. You know, I. I didn't need it, but I've had to learn how to, because I am rampant add.
Super add. So I've had to learn how to manage it. Through other things and. But the thing I realized was, it was I was a crutch. I didn't need it. I just thought I did.
[00:11:44] Speaker D: Right, Right.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: That was one thing is it's given me a ton of confidence.
I mean, you know how I am.
Confidence has never been a problem for me. But in the beginning, it was fake. It was not based on anything. And since I've gotten sober, I've become way more confident in myself and who I am, myself as a father, as a CEO, as a person.
That was a big thing that helped me.
Once I realized I could do this, I could do anything.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:12:12] Speaker D: All right.
[00:12:13] Speaker A: Cool, cool. Thank you, sir. Mr. Nick, so what.
[00:12:17] Speaker C: Can you say that question again?
[00:12:18] Speaker A: So as you look back on your journey from recovery, what have you learned about yourself now that you're sober to help motivate you to stay that way? Maybe?
[00:12:31] Speaker C: Well, in the beginning, I wanted to know, you know, when I started, early age. And it. So 30 years I was out there. In the beginning, there was. I'm not promoting it, by the way. There was some fun times. Most people go through a stage, okay. Then they move on with life. Early 20s, 20 years old, whatever.
Him and I, we take it, we keep going up that mountain.
So I learned when I got. So when I got sober, I wanted to know why I kept doing it. Like. Like Tyler was saying why it wasn't fun anymore. Like, it was way past that.
[00:13:14] Speaker D: Right.
[00:13:14] Speaker C: So I wanted to know why. So I did therapy and did all that with family things, and I wanted to know why, what took me there. So, though I learned a lot of things about that. That's. That would take a long time for us to talk about.
As I get. As I continue with it, I don't have the obsession anymore. And we went to lunch and we talked about that. You know, some people. You know, some people have 10, 20 years, and they go to meetings every day and AA, whatever means. And that's great.
[00:13:45] Speaker D: Right.
[00:13:46] Speaker C: If that's what they need to do. And that, you know, my. My recovery is different than it was the first year, two year, whatever, you know.
[00:13:53] Speaker D: Right.
[00:13:54] Speaker C: So what I learned was, is that it didn't define me anymore. That was a long time ago. It defined who I was. Like when they said. And I try not to tell, especially young people, you can never drink drug again. Because I did coke. My drugs were cocaine and alcohol.
[00:14:10] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:14:10] Speaker C: In my 20s, it was just those two. I tried all of them, and those two did it for me.
I don't try to tell people when they're. When They're. When you try to get them into recovery or go to rehab, whatever they need to do, you can never do this again.
That doesn't sit well.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: No, that's. Especially in the beginning. In the beginning, it's like. But this is what it. Because it's. Some of them. It's still fun. Like you said it wasn't. It stopped being fun for me.
[00:14:34] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:14:34] Speaker B: Long time ago.
[00:14:35] Speaker D: Right, Right.
[00:14:36] Speaker B: It was. I just had to do it to feel normal. And I know if any doctors out there, because I always say this, like I was taking 25-3,500mg of Adderall in the morning for breakfast.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: Good Lord.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: Just to get out of bed. Like, that was just to feel like a human.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: That. I mean, I wasn't getting high anymore at all. Like, high was something that was way in the past.
[00:14:56] Speaker D: Right.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: And like you said, it's fun till it's not. And then when it's not, it's really not.
[00:15:00] Speaker C: It's miserable.
[00:15:00] Speaker B: Miserable.
[00:15:01] Speaker D: Right.
[00:15:01] Speaker C: Terrible.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: That's all you think about is how am I going to get drugs? When am I going to do drugs? That's it. And it's a terrible feeling. But when you're first starting, you're like, well, my. This is how I have fun. You think this is fun. And you can't tell them that because if you do, they're going to blow you off. Yeah. They're not going to want to hear it.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:15:19] Speaker C: And yeah, you're just doing it. But if it was more in the beginning, like, first three, five years is where I was like, you know, it didn't define me anymore.
And now I deal with life's problem, just normal life's problems. But I don't look at myself as that. I don't need to have some. Like, I work in the industry. So, you know, we didn't talk about that. But, you know, I counsel people and work with people and volunteer.
That helps me. I do have, you know, my recovery program still. I'm not a. We're not above it is what we're. And I'm talking because I. He'll. I'm. I'm sure he'll agree with.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: No, no, no, no.
[00:16:00] Speaker C: But where. We're not above it, we could go right back out and do it.
But if. But we don't have that anymore.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: That desire.
[00:16:09] Speaker C: We don't have the desire anymore. But it could.
That's why you hear the corny sing. But I think it's for everybody. The one day at a time. It's it's, it's a, it's cliche, but I think it goes for everybody, but really for addicts. And it really is, especially in the beginning.
[00:16:26] Speaker B: So. And I always tell people too, you know, everybody's like, oh, you're, you're not an addict. Oh no, no, I am an addict. I am just currently an addict who's not using drugs today.
I could use them tomorrow, but when I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to not use them. Like that's my whole thing.
[00:16:41] Speaker D: Right.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: You never cease being a drug. You're always going to be a drug addict. It's. You're just one who isn't using.
[00:16:50] Speaker C: We're recovered, our recovering, but we're not cured.
[00:16:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:54] Speaker A: Okay. Okay.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: Because I've had people say, oh, you're cured. Oh, no, not cured. Never cured. Never cured.
[00:17:01] Speaker C: Because once we get to that point then, then it gets a little, it's a little dangerous. So, you know, you, I see people and you do too, I'm sure.
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:11] Speaker C: 25 years go back out. Oh yeah, 30 years, right.
[00:17:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:15] Speaker C: For something, you know, something tragic happened in their life and they, oh well, they can't handle, they go back to the, that, that crunch.
[00:17:24] Speaker B: Yes.
Crutch. Yeah, I would call it a crutch. I would call it a, a, a pain. Like a self pain medicine. Like self medicated, self medicating. Yeah. Like you're, you know, like, like you said right now I handle my problems. I go to therapy once a week, I talk about it, I figure out what's wrong and that's been a big part of helping me. But I guess I'm one bad day away from being right back out there and you never know what that one bad day is going to be or what the thing is and you just try your best to deal with it. Like you said, it is cliche, but it is how I live my life. One day at a time.
[00:17:57] Speaker C: And I'll say one more thing about that. So, yes, one day at a time that I don't personally, for me, I mean. And I think because we talk.
[00:18:05] Speaker B: We talk. Yeah.
[00:18:06] Speaker C: I don't struggle with it every. I don't think about it, I don't, I, I don't struggle with it every day. Are there times once in a blue moon that something passes through my head with it? Yes, but I don't struggle daily with it. And I want people that are new in recovery to understand that you don't have to as time goes on. There's a lot of scientific components to the Brain as well.
[00:18:31] Speaker D: Right.
[00:18:31] Speaker C: That you have to heal.
Mine is through faith. And then I. I needed time. We just needed time. Now do I believe God can come down and he does it? Some people can just quit on their own.
[00:18:43] Speaker D: Right.
[00:18:44] Speaker C: It's not common.
[00:18:45] Speaker D: Right.
[00:18:45] Speaker C: But it does happen.
But we need help and fellowship and, and connection. Connection, yes.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: In relationships.
[00:18:54] Speaker C: Yes, that's correct.
[00:18:55] Speaker B: Connection. Very important. Because a lot of addicts, they isolate, especially once they get to the point where they're, as we say, call it chasing the dragon.
Once you get to that point, you're just by yourself because you don't want to share. One and two is. You're miserable.
[00:19:12] Speaker D: Right.
[00:19:12] Speaker B: Terrible miserable person.
[00:19:14] Speaker C: You know, let me say something else because you'll, you'll understand this.
The, the newer, the newer people, the guys and the gals that are new to it, recovery to recovery into recovery. They. They feel unique that they did something more than the other guy or gal.
They think their problems, they may have some thoughts and they try to process everything themselves.
And that's where you get in trouble. Because I used to. Because I work with.
With people and they.
I did sober living for 12 years. I worked in a very structured sober living.
[00:19:57] Speaker D: Right.
[00:19:58] Speaker C: And we did counseling and so on and so forth. And I would talk to again. I'm like, you need to process what you're trying to figure out because you'll drive yourself crazy. Is, am I thinking right? Am I thinking wrong? Is this right? Is that wrong? Am I. Am I a bad person for having some thoughts, things like that, and they just. And they just go in a spin and sideways.
But once they start talking around other, you know, going to meetings or whatever way they're doing it, smart recovery, AA N a therapy, then they start to be able to call someone and go, hey. Because sometimes I, you know, I'll deal with something. I still have people that I can call. And I'm like, hey, just let me run this by you.
[00:20:41] Speaker D: Right?
[00:20:42] Speaker C: After 16 years, I don't. I try not to hold these. I. I got to get it out and figure it out. And they're like, no, you're. You're good.
[00:20:49] Speaker B: Yeah, you're good. Yeah. And I'll say this too. Like, I. I've been going to therapy for nine years. I don't talk about drugs anymore. Like, in the beginning, it was very much, why did you do. Now when we don't talk about drugs, we talk about my relationships and stuff like that. I mean, you know, it's just good to have somebody to talk to.
[00:21:06] Speaker D: Right? Right.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: And so yeah, it's definitely not in the beginning. First couple, I'd say first year every day. Don't do jokes. Don't do jokes.
[00:21:13] Speaker A: Don't do jokes.
[00:21:14] Speaker B: Just in the back of my head. And then after about a year, your brain gets back to somewhat normal. I'd say Probably a year, 18 months, starts kind of getting better, and you start thinking normally. And after about two years, you're probably more back to reality, like. Like a human being.
[00:21:30] Speaker D: Right.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: And then, you know, from that point on, it's just, you know, it's. It doesn't define who I am. Something I'm proud of, something I did, but it doesn't define who I am as a person. I'm.
And, you know, I'm open about it. I tell anybody.
[00:21:44] Speaker D: Right, right, right.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: It's. Go ahead.
[00:21:47] Speaker C: No, I was just gonna say. So he was like, a year, you know. Yeah, get a year. But see, the thing about recovery and addiction, there's no. It's not like, okay, you're. Everybody's different. It's different.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: Like, it's not flipping a switch.
[00:22:03] Speaker C: It's not. It could take, you know, it takes literally, sometimes three to five years to. I mean, over. You know, you get better.
[00:22:11] Speaker D: Right?
[00:22:11] Speaker C: You get better. And for me, I'll just say for me, emotionally, I couldn't. There was a. I mean, my emotions were super high for. I mean, for myself, you know, growing up as a man, you know, you couldn't show, you know, a lot of emotions.
[00:22:26] Speaker D: Right.
[00:22:26] Speaker C: I mean, I. I went through a lot of things emotionally that I just couldn't handle. It took me. That piece took me about.
I mean, over time, it was way, you know, it was little by little, but, I mean, it took, you know, three years, give or take.
[00:22:40] Speaker D: Right.
[00:22:40] Speaker C: Just the emotional piece of everything. Because I was out there 30 years, so I had to process 30 years. That's why we try to get these guys and gals when they're young.
[00:22:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:53] Speaker C: So they don't have 30, 30, or 20 years or 15 years.
[00:22:58] Speaker D: Right, right.
[00:22:59] Speaker A: So as you look back when you first started, what would you. Or is there something you could tell yourself then that would have prevented or would have sent you a different direction?
[00:23:18] Speaker B: Oh, I. That's a tough. That's a tough question. That's a really.
[00:23:24] Speaker C: We might need to go back.
[00:23:27] Speaker B: Give us a minute to go talk. Let's see if we can figure something out.
I don't. I don't know, to be quite honest with you. I don't think so. And. And I'll say this, too.
I'm Where I am in my life because of all the things that I went through to get here. And I don't know if I would change it if that. I know that sounds weird, a weird thing to say for somebody, but had I not gone through it and gotten to where I am, I wouldn't be me.
[00:23:54] Speaker D: Right. Right.
[00:23:55] Speaker B: So I don't know that I think the one thing I would say to younger me is, hey, look, man, you're gonna go through some stuff, but you can. You can. You gonna get better.
[00:24:04] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: But it's gonna be a ride, right? Like.
[00:24:07] Speaker D: Right.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: You're gonna. It's gonna suck before it gets better.
[00:24:10] Speaker A: Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. All right. I see Mr. Nick. I see those wheels rolling.
[00:24:15] Speaker C: See me thinking. He says that.
[00:24:17] Speaker B: He says, I think, yeah, I could definitely. Yeah, you can see that. You can see it going.
[00:24:20] Speaker C: I'm. I'm on the. I'm. I'm with Tyler, with. With that mainly. That's. It's really a tough call. I. It's hindsight, really. Right.
[00:24:31] Speaker D: Right.
[00:24:32] Speaker C: For me. I. I don't know. I don't really have an answer for that. I will say this, though.
That. That question and the answer and the solution and. And all that I would do for young people now. Okay, like, let's not ask that question.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:52] Speaker C: To the. To the 15 year old right now.
[00:24:55] Speaker D: Right.
[00:24:55] Speaker C: Right. When he's, you know, 35 and sober and he's gone. You know, let's. It's. With. That's why you guys do it. Just with. We do it. Just say something. We get in there early to prevent. Yeah, that's a really tough question. Maybe we need to think about that.
[00:25:11] Speaker A: We can do another podcast on that one.
[00:25:13] Speaker B: We could probably do a whole hour on that. And I will say this to. The other thing though, about it is, is if you could. I could spend. I could go crazy spinning about all the things that I could have done differently to change things.
[00:25:25] Speaker D: Right.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: It could. It would drive you crazy just being like, well, what if I had done. What if I done, you know, especially with add, Like, I was like, well, if I'd have gotten Adderall earlier, would I have done better in school or would I just become a drug addict earlier?
[00:25:37] Speaker D: Right.
[00:25:38] Speaker B: It's. You could do the what if game a lot with that. And it's tough. And I think what Nick saying is, right. Get them young. Tell them, hey, give that advice to the young people now, because we can't go back and give it to young us.
[00:25:50] Speaker D: Right. Right. Right.
[00:25:51] Speaker B: So.
[00:25:52] Speaker C: And that's why Just say something is very important.
[00:25:56] Speaker D: Right.
[00:25:57] Speaker C: And. And what. What we're doing here.
[00:25:59] Speaker A: So. And that leads me right into our next question.
If there was one piece of advice to give to a parent today that maybe they found a pill or powder in their child's room, what would your advice be to that parent who says, oh, my God, look what I just found.
[00:26:26] Speaker B: Okay. I've thought about this a lot because I've been in a lot of groups with kids, and 1. Just because you found a little bit of weed or something doesn't necessarily mean your kid is a drug addict.
Learn about it. Talk to him about it. Don't just automatically be like, oh, my God, he's a drug addict, and send them to. Because if you send them to some type of drug recovery, they'll turn them into an addict.
[00:26:49] Speaker D: Right?
[00:26:50] Speaker C: Right.
[00:26:50] Speaker B: If you sit them in a room full of addicts, they'll turn into one real quick.
But learn to talk to your. Talk to the kids. Don't just take and say, oh, my God, my kid's a bad kid because he has a joint. Ask your kid, why are you doing. What is this? What's going on in your. I mean, talk to him like a normal. Like you would an adult. I think. Treat them with respect.
[00:27:11] Speaker C: Ask them.
[00:27:11] Speaker B: Talk to them and get to know why they're doing what they're doing.
[00:27:13] Speaker D: Right.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: Right now. They could have a problem. I'm not saying that they don't. I mean, there are some that 100% need to go to some type of program, but not all of them. And I think the question is, you just need to talk to them and don't freak out about it. Just talk to them. Like I said, try to find out. Just say. Just say something. Just like you said, just say something.
I think that's the best advice I could give to. To parents. And like, I'm open about my use with my kids. My daughter is 12 and my daughters are 12 and 8. And they know Daddy. Daddy can't drink. Daddy can't. Daddy's was in rehab. Daddy. I mean, I'm. I'm open with them about it. So they know that it's in their genes and to be careful.
[00:27:56] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:57] Speaker D: All right, Cool.
[00:27:58] Speaker A: Cool.
[00:27:59] Speaker C: If they find something, it's probably not the first time that. That kids doing it.
I would agree with Tyler on talking to them first.
[00:28:12] Speaker D: Right.
[00:28:13] Speaker C: Sitting down. Not. I mean, like a lot of times parents. Excuse me, because I work with families too.
[00:28:21] Speaker D: Right.
[00:28:21] Speaker C: So parents don't spend time.
They're working. This is going on. You know, they Got this, that and the other. Going on.
Set schedule time and sit down and have a conference. Not in passing.
Sit down and talk and find out. But you can also learn, like, where they're at a little bit. Like, who they're hanging out with.
Are they hanging out in the room. In their room and isolating a lot. If they're the. You know, we talked about that. You talked about that a lot on the.
On the news.
[00:28:54] Speaker D: Right.
[00:28:54] Speaker C: Chronicles of Addiction.
Some of the. Some of the things Stacy talked about, which you got to look at the entire picture, not just. And then if you're finding different drugs, you know, then you get into some. But I'm not discounting weed either, because let me make this real clear on weed. Weed is super these days, I think. And you can. You can look this up. I'm not 100%, but it's like 17 to 20% THC now.
Now, in our day, Phil, and you're a little bit younger, but even in your.
[00:29:28] Speaker B: It was seeds and stems.
[00:29:30] Speaker C: It was. It was. It was low. Like, it's not.
[00:29:33] Speaker A: It's like 2 or 3%.
[00:29:35] Speaker B: If you got some good stuff, you maybe got 2 or 3%.
[00:29:38] Speaker C: Right. It's not even comparable. And weed does a lot of things that people don't realize. A lot of parents will. Oh, well, they're just doing weed.
[00:29:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:49] Speaker C: Okay. We does a lot. And that's a whole nother topic, maybe.
[00:29:54] Speaker A: I've had a mother come in before, and she's like. Because her son is Now, I think, 32, and she says, when I first. When I first found marijuana in his bedroom, my thought was, it's just a little bit of marijuana. She says, all of our lives have been wrecked because it was a little bit of marijuana.
[00:30:19] Speaker B: And that. That's one thing, too. I hate it when people call me the gateway drug. It's just a drug. They're all drugs. There's no such thing as gateways. Like, if you're smoking weed, you're probably doing something else. Like, it's not a gateway. It's.
[00:30:31] Speaker D: Right.
[00:30:32] Speaker B: It's a drug.
[00:30:33] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: I mean, it can ruin your life, just like any other drug can ruin your life.
[00:30:37] Speaker C: A lot of weed addicts smoke it all day long.
[00:30:41] Speaker A: Right.
[00:30:42] Speaker C: That's professionals.
It doesn't matter what your profession is.
[00:30:46] Speaker D: Right.
[00:30:47] Speaker C: They're not just doing it, you know, before they go to bed or, you know, very rarely. I'm not. I'm general when we talking about this. It's general.
[00:30:56] Speaker D: Right.
[00:30:56] Speaker C: I mean that for the most part, you know, but with the Weed.
The weed is smoked all day long, all day and over time. Think about this. You're inhaling weed, thc. Just think if you got a weed addict that's been doing it every day for 10 years.
I mean, if you eat, no offense to McDonald's, but if you eat McDonald's every day for 10 years, what's going to happen? Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's an analogy there, but weed is. And that now they're putting other stuff in the weed.
[00:31:27] Speaker D: Right?
[00:31:28] Speaker C: Not. I'm not. I don't know the stats on that.
[00:31:31] Speaker A: But, you know, we know they're putting.
[00:31:33] Speaker C: You know, you, you can get fentanyl and weeds right now.
[00:31:36] Speaker D: Right.
[00:31:36] Speaker B: And also, too, now they're not even smoking weed now. They're just taking gel caps of God knows what's right.
[00:31:42] Speaker C: I mean, that's a good point.
[00:31:43] Speaker B: You don't even have to smoke it anymore. Now you can just eat it.
[00:31:46] Speaker D: Right.
[00:31:46] Speaker C: You can go into the vapes.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: Right.
[00:31:47] Speaker C: And you, and really, you don't. You're not sure.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: I mean, I bought, I bought a vape in one of the vape stores in Simpsonville, and it was 3.5% THC.
[00:31:57] Speaker B: And so don't tell it, don't tell anybody what store.
Yeah.
[00:32:03] Speaker A: But, you know, that's another issue that is coming up in the state legislature.
Oh, it's medicinal. It's for medicine.
What other medicine has the public voted on to ever take before?
[00:32:21] Speaker B: That's a fair point. Oh, and I do think there are some people who, if it's prescribed, medically used properly, that is one thing. Like, I took Adderall.
[00:32:31] Speaker C: It was prescribed.
[00:32:31] Speaker B: My first drug dealer was my doctor because it was prescribed to me.
[00:32:34] Speaker D: Right, Right.
[00:32:35] Speaker B: And there's a lot of people who are taking Adderall, but it was not. Right. I was not using it medicinally. Right, Right. I mean, I think there are some medicinal uses for it, but it has to be prescribed. It has to be controlled, has to be, you know, done properly under the care of a doctor. That's different than just saying, hey, it's legal.
[00:32:56] Speaker D: Right.
[00:32:57] Speaker B: You know, I got a headache, so I smoked weed today.
[00:32:59] Speaker D: Right, Right.
[00:33:00] Speaker C: You know, you. I don't know everything and we're talking about weed, but you, you know, you have. And you're right, they're. They're medicinal most, but generally it's not, they're not using a medicinal. Like you. If you have somebody that, that was a veteran, I don't know what it's like to go over there and, and. And be in war and fight and have shots. Fight. So there's a lot of real PTSD out there that they may need.
They may need, you know, a medicinal.
Whatever it may be.
You know, they have it for, you know, the anesthesia, whatever they have a use for it.
[00:33:39] Speaker A: Well, and a lot of those uses are now available in pill form from your doctor as a prescription that you would pick up at a local CVS or Walgreens or that kind of thing. And we could go on for hours about this particular thing. So we need to bring this to a close. So we what I want to do this time, and trust me, we'll do it again. And if you. If y' all want to come in and take over one day, then, you know, we can.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: It'll be the longest podcast in Just say Something history. It be four and a half hours long.
Be like the Snyder cut of the Justice League.
[00:34:14] Speaker A: And I commend you both. You've kept it pretty clean.
[00:34:17] Speaker C: Hey.
[00:34:17] Speaker B: Hey.
[00:34:18] Speaker A: And I know how you are, Tyler.
[00:34:19] Speaker B: I did all my stuff in the. In the parking lot before I got in here. Y. Y. Yeah.
[00:34:23] Speaker A: So if there was one piece of advice that you could give to a mom and dad, they know something's going on with their kid, they don't know what to do.
What's that one piece of advice that you can give them to make them take that next step.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: Call you guys.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:34:47] Speaker B: That's what I would say. Call somewhere like this, somewhere that can help give you the tools to talk to them. Because you, if you don't like me and Nick, understand what it's like to be a drug addict.
[00:34:58] Speaker D: Right?
[00:34:59] Speaker B: People don't understand. And if there's truly a problem, you need some tools, need help.
[00:35:04] Speaker D: Right?
[00:35:04] Speaker B: Learn like my wife learned about addiction and she's been great about it. She completely understands it. She threw herself into it. She probably knows about as much about being an addict as someone who is not an addict can know.
[00:35:16] Speaker D: Right.
[00:35:17] Speaker B: And so I think that's what you do. You have to find somewhere like this that can give you some tools and help teach you something.
[00:35:23] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:35:24] Speaker D: All right.
[00:35:25] Speaker C: They need to call a professional and they need to be open minded.
It's really hard in the beginning for parents to.
Mike, my son or my daughter is a straight A student. You know, they're good and it's true.
[00:35:41] Speaker D: Right.
[00:35:41] Speaker C: You know very well and it's hard for them. And I understand that piece that, you know, I've got a valedictorian that's a drug addict and That's, I'm pushing it there. But, but they're, they're. There's validity.
[00:35:52] Speaker A: I was about to say, are you.
[00:35:56] Speaker C: Do we have time to, Can I tell you this one quick story? Do we have time.
[00:36:00] Speaker A: I know you. There's no such thing as a quick story.
[00:36:03] Speaker C: But go ahead because I wanted to tell you this point. So I had this, this, you know, I count. I work in counseling, so they need to get with a professional. I had a neighbor who said, can you talk to my friend? They have a 30ish year old son that, you know, he's in a, he's in a faith based, sober living has nothing.
I said, yeah, I'll talk to him. You know, I try to help out when I can. So I called them and I needed to get the background story on everything. Like when did he start, you know, when did this happen? He's been arrested. How many arrests did he have? I needed to know everything. And he's at this place for 40 days and he's trying to get out of there and come back home.
And they've, and they've rescued him in. Nothing against the parents. They don't know. They've never been educated.
[00:36:51] Speaker D: Right.
[00:36:51] Speaker C: They're just trying to help out, but they kind of knew the answer. So I got all the information, I'm talking to them and I said, and so he's trying to get out of there now after 40 days? Yeah, I said, and trying to go live with them. And he goes, I don't want to use. I said, Absolutely, 100% no.
And so he's in this place. Everything is free ride, it's a nonprofit. I looked it up. Is it the Ritz Carlton? No.
Is it where he's going to get, where he's getting some help?
[00:37:24] Speaker D: Right.
[00:37:25] Speaker C: Yes, I looked it up and they told me what they do there.
So he has no money. And anyway, I told him that for sure. And they're like, yeah, we agreed. So everything I was telling them, they were agreeing. They knew kind of what the deal was.
[00:37:38] Speaker D: Right.
[00:37:39] Speaker C: But they just couldn't. So long story short of it, we kept talking. We talked twice, a total of about two hours.
I said, they go, we want to look for another place in Charlotte. And I knew some places up there that he can go to. I said, I know some places.
[00:37:56] Speaker B: Just.
[00:37:56] Speaker C: We just don't know what to do. I said, you don't need to do anything. He's right where he needs to be. Right, right.
He's got 40 days. Let him finish the program in six months. Then they move him to another place. He can start working. He lives in another. And then he'll move to a house and it's. He'll get it progressive steps a year.
I said, you don't need to do anything. And I told him this to end what I'm going to tell you. I said, my recommendation is you guys get counseling.
Whether not. I'm not trying to, you know, sell you my services.
[00:38:33] Speaker D: Right.
[00:38:33] Speaker C: If you need somebody where you're at, then let me know and I'll try to get you somewhere. But you guys need to go or go into. Get into a group of either Al Anon or something group like that, a church group that are. Where you have other people, right. You can learn from.
And that's. That was my message. So they, they agreed with me on everything. At the end, the second time I called him to check on them, they said, you know what? We're not doing anything. He's going to stay. Right.
[00:39:03] Speaker B: I thought you were gonna say. I thought you were gonna say he was living back at home. I was 100. That was what you were gonna say. Oh, yeah, we let him back home and he's gone off the rails.
[00:39:13] Speaker C: He's been doing this since like 11th grade.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:15] Speaker D: Right.
[00:39:16] Speaker C: So he's been 15 years now.
So it's time. He's right where he needs to be.
[00:39:22] Speaker D: Right, Right. Right.
[00:39:23] Speaker C: That's what I.
[00:39:24] Speaker A: And where we need to be at the end of this particular podcast. And so I want to thank you guys for being here with us again. This is Philip Clark with Just say Something and our weekly podcast. You can find us wherever you find your favorite podcast. That's Just say Something podcast. And please be sure, as Nick keeps reminding me, to like, subscribe, share and.
[00:39:50] Speaker C: Comment at least just. Just hit the like button.
[00:39:53] Speaker B: Hit that. Hit that bell for the notification bell.
[00:39:55] Speaker C: Just trying, trying to grow the channel. This Just say Something is. Is a tremendous resource for. For young people and families. And so just. Just hit the like.
[00:40:07] Speaker A: Just hit the like.
[00:40:08] Speaker C: Hit the like.
[00:40:08] Speaker A: Just hit the like.
[00:40:09] Speaker B: That's all you got to do. Hit the like button.
[00:40:10] Speaker D: All right.
[00:40:11] Speaker A: Thank you guys. We appreciate it.
[00:40:12] Speaker B: Appreciate.
