Episode Transcript
[00:00:07] Speaker A: And welcome back. Today you're joining just say something. And you know, we were built on parenting programs, so we have spent the last two weeks talking about parenting wise, Lee, as well as our back in control program with Lynn Hooper, who is our parenting coordinator. And so again, this is episode three of a four part series that we cover our parenting programs of the ones that we offer free for the community.
And so last we talked with Lynn, we discussed back in control. And so today's program is transparency, and we'll let Lynn get into a little bit more about that. But Lynn, I'm excited to invite you back to our just say something podcast. And you've built our parenting programs to what it is today. You've been with just say something for I won't say how many years. If you want to share that, I'll let you. But you have built our parenting program. And so you've done a fantastic job. You continue to do a fantastic job for our community and representing. Just say something. So again, welcome back and let's talk a little bit about transparenting today.
[00:01:44] Speaker B: Okay, thank you, Phil. And no, I don't mind telling you, I have been here 27 years.
So I guess it's that I like the mission, right?
[00:01:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:01:55] Speaker B: That's why I stay, because it feels.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Like it was only yesterday.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Yes, it does. Absolutely it does. And I love what I do.
I love helping parents. And it's just what I want to do. And that's the reason I've stayed so long.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:02:12] Speaker B: To get into transparenting. Transparenting is another of the parenting programs that we do here. Transparenting is a one day class. We do that probably monthly or every six weeks when we have enough parents to be in the class. And it's kind of like a four hour seminar, but it's designed to help parents that are going through major changes in their life, such as divorce. That's a big one because we get parents that through their attorneys that are going through a divorce. And we get a lot of our parents through that. We do get other parents that just want to come, but a lot of our parents come through attorneys. But we know how it impacts the children. And that's what transparenting is for. It is to help parents. And I'm going to use divorce for other changes in life, like they move to another state or someone loses a job, how it affects them. And there's a lot in transparent. But most of the parents that come through our program in transparenting are parents going through divorce. And the class is not to help them because they have a right to divorce if they want to. And we don't have any say so in that, but we try to help them give them skills that will help them help their children have as normal life as possible. And one of the things we do know because there are some parents that can't even come to my class together to learn how to coparent because they can't be in the same room together, they just appear to hate each other so much. So when that is going on between the two parents, how in the world can they help their children? So we try to help give them some skills that will help them because we know that divorce impacts kids, it impacts their lives tremendously. So that is part of what the transparenting is and to try to help give parents skills that will help them in helping their children to adjust.
[00:04:35] Speaker A: Okay, wow, that's a lot for 4 hours.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: Yes it is.
[00:04:42] Speaker A: And so how long have we had this program at? Just say something.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: I think I've been doing this, I looked last year and it was twelve years. So this will be going on the 13th year. I trained for this in Atlanta, Georgia under several judges and it was a really good training. And not being a person that was ever divorced, I really learned a lot about the impact it has on your children. So that was what affected me the most, going through the transparenting training.
[00:05:17] Speaker A: Okay.
As part of that transparenting of that class do you focus on as part of keeping the child out of the middle of some of the issues? Because we know there's a lot of issues that go on with families. So as part of transparency, helping them not do that, of opening their communication lines to not engage or make the child the middle person, well you tell your mama or you tell your daddy next time you're with them that I said blah blah, blah.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Oh yes it does.
One of the things that I always ask my parents when they come into the class when we first start, I always ask them, tell me why it is so hard for parents going through divorce to be able to co parent together. And I think the best answer I have ever gotten came from a father that I had in my class that was going through a divorce. And he said when you hate your spouse more than you love your children, wow.
And you think about that and that's true. A lot of parents going through divorce, they really do, they don't like each other and because of that they find it very hard to coparent our thing in doing transparenting. Like I said, it isn't about the parent but it's about you need to have these skills to help your children to be resilient enough to bounce back.
And one of the things that we know about that is, and I learned a lot about this in training, too, young children bounce back very quickly and very easily. But it isn't true with older children, they don't bounce back. You take parents that divorce when their kids are teenagers.
It takes a long time for those kids to welcome a stepmother or a stepfather into their life. And they can be really harsh to that person and sometimes causes the second marriage not to work.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: Right.
Our families are facing so many issues, and our kids are facing so many issues these days that it just seems like they just keep piling up and piling up. But if there's not love in the house between mom and daddy, then who's to say that they shouldn't separate or divorce and move on? But just make sure that they leave that child out of the middle and do what's best for that child.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: That's right. And so many parents that are going through divorce and attend our class, they have so much baggage themselves.
Going through the divorce is one part of it, but with all the other responsibilities they have, sometimes they fail to see how it affects the child. And that's what transparenting is all about. It's to help them learn to coparent these Children so that they will be as normal as they possibly can be when they were in a family that was together.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: Okay, so you said this is a four hour class. So when do you offer and provide this class?
[00:09:05] Speaker B: Okay, we do it here Monthly.
And the reason for that is because we do not get that many parents in our class. So we have to have four parents to attend before we do one. So we usually get that when we do it Monthly.
So when the parents sign up for the class and they do that, they register for the class just like they do for the parenting wisely and the back in control. And when they sign up for it, then I give them the date. We usually do that on a Saturday morning because a lot of parents work. And it just works out better to do it on Saturday morning instead of trying to do it in the evenings because 4 hours is a long time to come to a class after you get off work.
[00:09:52] Speaker A: Right.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: So we do it on Saturday morning for 4 hours. We usually do it from nine to one, and we get our parents registering the same way. And anybody that lives in Greenville county can attend the class free. And if you live out of Greenville county, it is $50 a person to attend the seminar. And you do get a certificate of completion for that. That will stand up in courT.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: Okay. Well, I know that's very helpful for a lot of our community. And UNFORTunatELY, it's a program that we need to provide BecauSE Our goal here at just say something is to provide support classes where we teach them new skills. And so this is just one of those opportunities for US to work with those in our community as they struggle to go through what for some is everyday life. And so you shared that the class is typically on Saturdays, and so typically you start at 09:00 a.m. And you go until one. And so if someone would like to sign up for this class and to see the schedule for this class, where do we need for them to go?
[00:11:18] Speaker B: Okay. They need to go to our website. All of the classes are listed there. And when they go to programs, go to transparenting, which is this particular one. We have a class coming up in February. I think it will be on February the fourth. So there is one coming up. And you're welcome to register for that class. To attend. You can call our office. We are 864-467-4099 and we will give you all the information on how you register for that class.
Or either you can register online by going to the website to register for the class.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: Okay. And so there's multiple ways. So go to our website. Just saysomethingsc.org. Across the top, you'll see a tab that says programs. Click on that tab and scroll down to the particular program, whether it's back in control, parenting wisely, or even transparenting. And so you can sign up there. Once you do, you will receive a phone call to complete your registration. And then we will then give you the date and the time. But again, the program takes place here at. Just say something. And we are located at 850 South Pleasantburg Drive here in Greenville, suite two oh two. And our zip code is 29607. Again, our phone number is 864-467-4099 and so this wraps it up for this particular session as Lynn Hooper, our parenting coordinator, joined me to talk about transparenting another one of our programs. And so for next week, we will dive into another parenting program that we offer here that is called Triple P, which is positive program. Trust me, you don't want to miss this particular session. And Lynn, I want to thank you for spending time with me today in this podcast, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
[00:13:33] Speaker B: Thank you, Phil.
