Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:07] Hello and welcome back to the Just say Something podcast. I'm Phil Clark, and today I want to have a very, very honest conversation about the New Year.
[00:00:21] If you've been looking on social media lately, you've probably seen the same things that I have.
[00:00:28] Everywhere you look, someone is telling you to set bigger goals.
[00:00:33] Buy the expensive planner, build the perfect plan, start an elaborate routine, track everything, and somehow enter January as a brand new person.
[00:00:47] And look, there's nothing wrong with setting goals. I have them on a regular basis and they change often.
[00:00:55] But.
[00:00:57] And there's nothing wrong with wanting to improve or reflect or grow.
[00:01:03] But what I'm hearing a lot from people is that the pressure is to get it right and get everything aligned by January 1st.
[00:01:18] And this ultimately causes more stress and anxiety than motivation.
[00:01:25] The American Psychological association has said for years that overly ambitious New Year's resolutions often fail because they're too big, too rigid and too unrealistic. And when that happens, people think they failed when really the expectation wasn't fair from the first place.
[00:01:49] So today I want to offer something different.
[00:01:54] Not a list of steps, not a system, not another batch of resolutions to add to your plate.
[00:02:02] Instead, I want to share a few things to consider about how you might approach the new year with more compassion for yourself and more room to breathe.
[00:02:17] Not things you have to do, not things you need to master, but things you could explore if they feel right for you.
[00:02:29] So idea number one.
[00:02:31] Maybe this year it isn't about tracking goals in a planner. Maybe it's just about talking to the people you care about a little more often, not perfectly, not deeply, every time, just intentionally.
[00:02:48] Maybe it's sending a text you've been meaning to send, or eating dinner together without distractions once a week, or checking in with your child in a small, meaningful way.
[00:03:01] You don't need to rebuild your relationships from scratch.
[00:03:07] You just need to stay connected in ways that matter.
[00:03:12] Idea number two Parenting with presence Instead of pressure as parents, we put enormous expectations on ourselves, especially around the New year.
[00:03:27] The Child Mind Institute reminds us that kids don't need perfect parents.
[00:03:34] They need consistent, caring, present parents.
[00:03:40] So if you're a parenting or if you're a parent, maybe your focus isn't a giant new system or color coded schedules.
[00:03:52] Maybe it's something more simple, like listening a little more, asking your teen how they're feeling, spending a few minutes together each day, showing patience with yourself when you don't get it right.
[00:04:12] These are not assignments, they're options.
[00:04:17] And even choosing one makes a difference.
[00:04:23] Idea number three.
[00:04:25] If you need help, this might be the year to reach out.
[00:04:30] For some people, the thing weighing on their mind isn't productivity or planning.
[00:04:37] It's substance use.
[00:04:39] It's stress or feeling overwhelmed.
[00:04:43] If that's you, please, please hear this.
[00:04:47] You don't have to fix everything overnight.
[00:04:52] You don't have to resolve your way out of addiction are anxiety.
[00:05:00] The National Institute on Drug Abuse says that recovery often begins with one honest conversation or one moment of willingness to ask for help.
[00:05:14] Not a full plan, just the courage to speak up if reaching out feels like the right direction for you.
[00:05:23] That alone is a powerful start.
[00:05:28] Idea Number four Take your anxiety seriously.
[00:05:34] Not personally.
[00:05:36] Many people don't know that anxiety spikes around the holidays in the new year. Harvard Health Publishing has written about how internal pressure comparison and transitions can heighten anxiety symptoms.
[00:05:52] So maybe your focus this year isn't on big accomplishments.
[00:05:58] Maybe it's on peace.
[00:06:00] Maybe it's on rest.
[00:06:02] Maybe it's on doing less instead of more.
[00:06:07] This could look like calling a therapist, asking your doctor about anxiety.
[00:06:16] Call creating a little downtime each day, turning off screens earlier, saying no when you need to again. These are not rules, they're possibilities.
[00:06:33] You get to choose what helps you breathe a little easier.
[00:06:39] Idea number five Let your plans change with without feeling like you failed.
[00:06:49] We all know life doesn't stick to a script.
[00:06:54] The APA talks about something called adaptive resilience, which basically means the ability to adjust and keep going even when things shift.
[00:07:09] So if you set a goal or and change it, that's normal.
[00:07:16] If a plan doesn't go the way you expected, that's life.
[00:07:22] If something comes up and you need to pivot, that's being a human.
[00:07:30] The new year doesn't require a perfect roadmap. It just asks you to stay open to what matters most.
[00:07:40] A new year that feels human, not heavy.
[00:07:46] Here's what I hope you hear today.
[00:07:50] You do not need to tackle all of these ideas.
[00:07:54] You do not need to become the best communicator, the perfect parent, the world's most disciplined planner, someone who suddenly has everything figured out.
[00:08:07] Instead, ask yourself one simple question.
[00:08:12] What would make my life just a little bit better this year?
[00:08:19] Not perfect, not transformed, just better.
[00:08:25] Maybe that's connection.
[00:08:28] Maybe that's support.
[00:08:31] Maybe it's boundaries.
[00:08:33] Maybe it's therapy.
[00:08:35] Maybe it's parenting with more grace.
[00:08:39] Maybe it's letting go of pressure.
[00:08:43] Maybe it's choosing rest.
[00:08:47] Whatever it is, let it be yours.
[00:08:50] Let it be gentle.
[00:08:52] Let it be doable.
[00:08:55] And let it be rooted in compassion.
[00:08:58] For yourself, not criticism.
[00:09:03] And remember, your worth is not measured by how well you complete a checklist in January.
[00:09:12] You get to grow at your own pace.
[00:09:16] And as we head into the New Year, I hope you feel encouraged, not overwhelmed.
[00:09:23] You deserve a year that feels manageable, hopeful and grounded in the things that truly matter.
[00:09:33] If you need support services or a place to start, just say something is here for you.
[00:09:42] We're walking this journey with you, not as experts above you, but as partners alongside you.
[00:09:52] Thank you for listening and thank you for caring about your well being and your family.
[00:09:58] And thank you for showing up to this podcast each week.
[00:10:04] I'm Phil Clark and I look forward to seeing you in the New Year.
